Smiling

(The song is Monster, by Skillet. Click here to listen.)

Ignis sighed softly, a small smile on her lips as she watched Monica feeding Chris his breakfast. Despite her life as a hunter, she rather enjoyed retirement. Just sitting at home with her family, enjoying their company. It was nice.

'Wouldn't it be so fun to slit that little bitch's throat right now?' Ignis' eyes widened briefly in horror at the voice in her head, before she closed them, clenching her jaw. No, she would not allow that bastard to goad her into another mental argument. It just gave him more leverage. She simply focused on a wall around her mind, to keep him out. He didn't say anything. Good.

'Well that's a relief...'

'What is? That you think you can still block me out? Nah. Now go slit her throat.' Ignis suddenly felt dizzy, putting a hand to her head.

"Ignis? Are you okay?" Monica was looking over in concern, and Ignis just waved it off.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just a little headache. Think I might actually be hungover, drank a little too much last night. I'm going to go take a nap." Monica nodded slowly as Ignis left, but still felt worried.

~~~~~

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

~~~~~

Ignis hummed to herself as she cut up some carrots for dinner that night, helping Terra with the cooking. She used to hate carrots as a child, but she didn't mind them so much now. Amusing, really. To her, anyway. "Ignis, can you hand me the flour? I set it over there and forgot about it." Ignis just smiled.

"Sure, just a second." She set the knife down, and reached for the bag of flour. As she picked it up, she felt a bit dizzy again.

'Know a better use for this flour? You could suffocate her with it, shove it down her throat.'

"...Here. I need to go to the bathroom." Ignis set the flour down, quickly leaving the room.

~~~~~

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

~~~~~

Ignis sat on the park bench, frowning slightly. Zerrik had become more vocal lately. She couldn't shut him out like she used to. And as the week progressed, she'd had more dizzy spells. 'Probably just him deciding to be a prick... yeah, that's it...' She glanced up as a cat leapt up onto the bench with her, purring as it rubbed up against her. It was a stray that she'd taken to feeding, and she was fairly fond of it. "Hey little guy, come here." She grinned, pulling the cat into her lap, and gently stroking it's fur as she enjoyed nature around her.

'Well, isn't that sweet. Lemme fix it.' Ignis tensed, before she felt a sharp pain behind her eyes, her head swimming for a moment. And then she heard a awful yowling sound, which abruptly ended. Confused, Ignis looked down, and then jumped up from the bench, her heart hammering in her chest. The cat was dead, it's head twisted all the way around.

~~~~~

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

~~~~~

Ignis was panting heavily. She'd run away from the dead cat as if death itself was chasing her, and now she was in an alley, leaning against the wall and trying not to cry. 'No... no, this can't be happening... he can't be getting control...'

'No? Really? We'll see about that, Ignis. We'll see who's really in control...' At those word's, Ignis choked back a sob, sinking to the ground and drawing her knee's up to her chest, burying her face in her legs.

~~~~~

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key
I keep it caged but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

~~~~~

Ignis felt... strange, really. She'd gone home after the 'incident' and had tried to forget it, while forcing herself to strengthen her mental barriers. She could not allow Zerrik to continue toying with her. It was unforgivable. Yet now, she couldn't recall what she'd been doing. She was standing in a dark room, holding something over her head... something she recognized as her sword, and held as if to slash downward... she glanced down, and had to fight not to scream.

There, sleeping peacefully, was Chris. And she'd been about to kill him. Ignis couldn't take it, and she doubled over, turning to vomit onto the floor. 'Zerrik... you... you were going to make me...'

'Yes, but your damned subconcious got in the way. That's alright though. I'll get passed even that eventually, just you wait.'

....There was no way she could allow that.

~~~~~

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

~~~~~

Ignis had holed herself up in an abandoned apartment complex several miles away, and had taken to chaining herself to the bed at night. So far, nothing had happened. Perhaps her defenses had started working? She wasn't willing to test it. About two days passed, however, before the inevitable happened. She would have seen it coming if she'd been thinking about it.

Her family tracked her down.

~~~~~

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

~~~~~

"Ignis, what happened? You disappeared without warning, and you threw up in Chris' room. Are you alright?" Terra was clearly worried, as was Monica. Karin was watching Ignis with... mild suspicion. She trusted her older sister, but she knew that Ignis had been hiding something for years. Did this have something to do with it, maybe?

"It's nothing, I just needed some time alone, that's all. Nothing more." Karin, however, walked over, placing her hands on Ignis's shoulders and looking her in the eyes.

"Ignis. I know you are hiding something, so spill, okay? We are your family, and you shouldn't hide things from us." Karin smiled softly, only for it to fade as Ignis' pupils suddenly became slits, her mouth splitting into a wicked grin.

"Okay. Let me show ya somethin'." Ignis' voice was rougher than usual, and it scared Karin a bit.

"Wha-" She was cut off as Ignis suddenly drew her sword, and drove it through Karin's stomach, and twisting it. Karin coughed up blood, her eyes going wide with horror as a dark chuckle escaped Ignis.

~~~~~

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

~~~~~

Ignis' mind woke up to find herself on the floor, her head aching, and finding it hard to breath. It felt like she'd been hit by a truck. She pushed herself to her feet, and noticed something frightening. She was covered in blood. She slowly raised her gaze, and felt her heart seize. Monica and Terra were tending to Karin... who was pale, and breathing shallowly as Monica tried to stop the bleeding. Terra was calling Nobus for emergency pickup. Ignis took a step forward, and Terra got to her feet.

Ignis felt another kind of pain in her chest as Terra took a defensive stance, though the woman was obviously distressed. "Ignis... is that the real you? Or..." The idea of having to protect Karin from Ignis was heartwrenching for her.

~~~~~

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

~~~~~

Ignis opened her mouth, hearing Zerrik's voice again. 'Embrace my control, Ignis. It'll feel good, to kill them all.' Ignis swallowed hard.

"It's... me... but I don't know for how long... Terra, I... I..."

'Want to slaughter you all.'

"....Kill me." This request made Terra feel as if she'd been punched in the gut by her older sister, at full power.

"...W-what?"

"I said to kill me. It's the only way to ensure this won't happen again. I... I tried to kill Chris the night I left... it's just getting worse and worse..."

"Maybe we can get you help, or-"

"There is no help! He's inside my mind, Terra! A damned ancient evil that was sealed in this sword, is in my mind, and I can't get rid of the sword either! He's inside ME, Terra! Kill me before I kill someone I love!" Ignis was on her knee's begging, tears in her eyes, and Terra felt her own tears running down her cheeks.

"...I... I can't kill you... I can't... you're like a daughter to me, I... we need to try and get you help... I'm sure there is something..."

"...Fine..."

~~~~~

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I've gotta lose control, he something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster

~~~~~

Ignis looked to the floor, then to her blood soaked hands. Her sister's blood. Karin would survive, she knew. Karin was a fighter through and through, and Nobus would be able to patch her up like new. That didn't change the fact that she'd just nearly murdered her younger sister.

I, I feel like a monster

Ignis swallowed hard, and picked up her sword. She was pretty sure Terra had hit her to get her away from Karin, and that was why her chest hurt, and her sword had been on the ground.

I, I feel like a monster

Ignis looked to Terra, and Monica, and her wounded sister Karin... and smiled sadly. "...I can't live with this... I just can't... not anymore." Before anyone could stop her, she whipped her sword up, and rammed it through her own neck, straight through the carotid artery, and then ripped it to the side. She could survive quite a bit... but not that. She tuned out the screaming of her family as she dropped to her knees. Someone caught her as she fell, but her vision had become blurry, and she couldn't tell who. Terra probably, she was the fastest.

I, I feel like a monster

Ignis was quickly blacking out, the screams and cries of her family sounding like they were coming from underwater now, she could barely hear them. 'Heh... well, that's one way to escape me, Ignis. Too bad, I wanted to play some more.' Zerrik's voice was hardly the last one she wanted to hear in life... but at least she knew he was trapped in that damned sword again. And he'd never use her body to hurt others again.

I, I feel like a monster

Ignis had peace at last, and as life left her, Ignis left the world the way she'd always figured she would.

Smiling.